18 days until my first wedding dress fitting.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I tried on my dress in the store, it was definitely too big. The consultant had it pulled with those clasps and stuff. SO, when I ordered it, we decided it would be beneficial to get the next smaller size. I really, really hope that I will fit into it. I haven't had the time to devote to working out in the last month. I just worked 18 days in a row, most of those days were 10-12 hour days. I am excited to have things settle into a routine, allowing me to focus on the other things coming up in my life. The opening of the museum was a huge milestone in my life, and as we are just beginning to learn how to run the site and how things work, it is stressful at times. I know that things will even out. I know that we'll eventually feel good about how things are going.
I am certainly excited to turn the focus on me. I have done pretty well of, at least, getting enough sleep throughout the last few weeks. Now just to add exercise back into the mix. I'm also wrestling with the idea of doing EOB's detox thing before my fitting. Is that extreme? If it was the type of detox where you don't eat food, it might be. But at least there is food involved here...just chicken, broccoli, peppers, carrots, a bit of yogurt and fruit for breakfast, but not much else. I'm slightly concerned about doing this all while wearing a stay, colonial costume, and it potentially being super hot out. ALSO, I am now on my feet for 8 hours a day. That will certainly make a difference for me. My body was used to being active for the entire work day, and when that went away, I gained some weight. SO, my focus is to get rid of that, plus more.
BUT, regardless of what happens, if it doesn't fit, I still have 3 months to make it fit, without them letting it out (if they can). I just need a ton of Spanx and I'll be ALLLLLL set.
In more exciting news, I booked our flight to Hawaii for the honeymoon. :-) I'm not going to give a damn what I look like, I'll be in HAWAII!!!!! I will want to be able to be active, maybe rent a bike, go snorkeling, climb a volcano, etc.
Life will go on after the wedding. That is not my deadline. That is just a moment in time, a great day, a day where I will be glowing, it will be captured on film forever. But I need to remember that I will wake up the day after the wedding, and be married, and continue living.
An active life is a better life than the life I was leading before. If I can remember that, I can do anything.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Cobwebs
If I hadn't worn my running shoes to work last week, I'm certain they would've been a bit dustier today than they were. I've been playing the "I'll convince myself that I'll get up early and run before work" game with myself as of late. I turned my alarm clock back a couple weeks ago, in hopes of forcing myself to get up earlier. All it has managed to do is forced me to snooze for an hour and THEN realize that my alarm stops ringing after an hour. Yikes. (Don't forget the one or two days that I just neglected to actually set my alarm altogether...luckily, my body clock is functioning pretty well and woke me up at the right time.)
My work hours haven't exactly been helping my "desire" to get back on the workout train either. I'm about to open a major tourist attraction in Boston, 2 weeks til opening, to be exact. I've been getting home around 9pm most nights. I eat dinner and go to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. Should I work out when I get home? Maybe. But then again, it could keep me up for a few hours, thus throwing off my sleep schedule. I'm treading that fine line between obligation and laziness. What do I mean by that, you ask? Well, I am obligated to go to work, obviously. I do all the stuff I have to do for that, and so when I am at home, those precious few hours are usually reserved for decompressing, maybe puttering around on the internet, catching a quarter or two of an NBA game, having some dinner, glancing at my fiance, and then crawling into bed to get some sleep so that I'm not a nasty zombie beast the next day. The other side of that coin is laziness. By the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is work out. I want to veg out and veg out hard. As Julia Roberts once said, "we shall lay like broccoli", or something like that. I want to zone out. I want to forget everything that's on my mind...just for a bit.
And yes, I see you now, shaking your head, "tsk-ing" at me. We all know that exercise is a great stress reliever. We all know that a good run will clear your head. KELLYYYYYY, get off your fat ass and run! KELLYYYYYY, get up and do that ass-kicking Bob Harper DVD, or the others that are still shrink-wrapped on the shelf! You will feel better! You will think clearer! You will be better! Smarter! Clearer! Better! Healthier! Prettier! Happier! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I get it. I do. I swear.
BETTER!
The aches are good. The pain is worth it. It builds character. It makes me remember that I'm human. It makes me remember that this is the only body that I'm given and that I should take care of it.
SMARTER!
I know that my mood is better when I exercise. I know that I sleep best when I've had a hard workout. No better sleep than after a hard swim, that's for sure. *sigh* I miss swimming. My brain works better. I remember things. I am sharper.
HAPPIER!
I bet people would like me more if I exercised more too. I can't say that I ever really experience that "runner's high" or exercise-induced endorphin rushes, BUT, I will say that I definitely had more confidence about myself, thus creating a potentially better person to be around, when I was exercising regularly.
CLEARER!
The next few weeks are probably going to be some of the most stressful of my life. I need to find a way to not let it eat me alive, thus turning me into this colonial tyrant that no one will want to be around. I have to focus on the good and the parts of this project that we can control, and not allow the other stuff to gnaw at my psyche.
SHUT UP AND DO IT!
I am full of excuses. We all are. There's always too much stuff to do, not enough time to do it in, yet most of the time, we probably just end up staring at a screen of some kind, be it TV, computer, fancy schmancy phone. We unconsciously cut ourselves off from the relationships that really make us happy. We allow all of this "stuff" to take priority over our friends, family, health, sanity. But why? Do we think that we'll be better people if we just send one more email, or "like" one more status, or read more articles, or check out one more video? I could easily squeeze in a 30 min workout everyday. But do I choose to do it? No, I do not. I choose to whine about it and feel badly about myself when I stuff myself in to my clothes in the morning.
NO, SERIOUSLY, SHUT UP ALREADY!
Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe I will make the right choice. Maybe I will find the motivation that has been eluding me for many months. I killed my enjoyment of running by signing up for too many races and not actually training for them, thus spending the race time beating myself up mentally. Not cool. No one else is going to cheer me on if I don't do it first, and yet, I spent the entire Jingle Bell run telling myself that I was fat, lazy, and a disgrace. Nice, huh?
But today was different. I threw together a new playlist, just for kicks. I hadn't ran for awhile, so I knew it was going to be slow-going. I knew I would probably walk more than I ran, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that my blue and green accented Asics were pounding the pavement once more. I didn't have any moments of negativity. I had a good time, even while my legs were being awoken from their slumber and were fighting back. I did it.
I did it.
Yes.
And I will do it again. Soon.
My work hours haven't exactly been helping my "desire" to get back on the workout train either. I'm about to open a major tourist attraction in Boston, 2 weeks til opening, to be exact. I've been getting home around 9pm most nights. I eat dinner and go to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. Should I work out when I get home? Maybe. But then again, it could keep me up for a few hours, thus throwing off my sleep schedule. I'm treading that fine line between obligation and laziness. What do I mean by that, you ask? Well, I am obligated to go to work, obviously. I do all the stuff I have to do for that, and so when I am at home, those precious few hours are usually reserved for decompressing, maybe puttering around on the internet, catching a quarter or two of an NBA game, having some dinner, glancing at my fiance, and then crawling into bed to get some sleep so that I'm not a nasty zombie beast the next day. The other side of that coin is laziness. By the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is work out. I want to veg out and veg out hard. As Julia Roberts once said, "we shall lay like broccoli", or something like that. I want to zone out. I want to forget everything that's on my mind...just for a bit.
And yes, I see you now, shaking your head, "tsk-ing" at me. We all know that exercise is a great stress reliever. We all know that a good run will clear your head. KELLYYYYYY, get off your fat ass and run! KELLYYYYYY, get up and do that ass-kicking Bob Harper DVD, or the others that are still shrink-wrapped on the shelf! You will feel better! You will think clearer! You will be better! Smarter! Clearer! Better! Healthier! Prettier! Happier! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I get it. I do. I swear.
BETTER!
The aches are good. The pain is worth it. It builds character. It makes me remember that I'm human. It makes me remember that this is the only body that I'm given and that I should take care of it.
SMARTER!
I know that my mood is better when I exercise. I know that I sleep best when I've had a hard workout. No better sleep than after a hard swim, that's for sure. *sigh* I miss swimming. My brain works better. I remember things. I am sharper.
HAPPIER!
I bet people would like me more if I exercised more too. I can't say that I ever really experience that "runner's high" or exercise-induced endorphin rushes, BUT, I will say that I definitely had more confidence about myself, thus creating a potentially better person to be around, when I was exercising regularly.
CLEARER!
The next few weeks are probably going to be some of the most stressful of my life. I need to find a way to not let it eat me alive, thus turning me into this colonial tyrant that no one will want to be around. I have to focus on the good and the parts of this project that we can control, and not allow the other stuff to gnaw at my psyche.
SHUT UP AND DO IT!
I am full of excuses. We all are. There's always too much stuff to do, not enough time to do it in, yet most of the time, we probably just end up staring at a screen of some kind, be it TV, computer, fancy schmancy phone. We unconsciously cut ourselves off from the relationships that really make us happy. We allow all of this "stuff" to take priority over our friends, family, health, sanity. But why? Do we think that we'll be better people if we just send one more email, or "like" one more status, or read more articles, or check out one more video? I could easily squeeze in a 30 min workout everyday. But do I choose to do it? No, I do not. I choose to whine about it and feel badly about myself when I stuff myself in to my clothes in the morning.
NO, SERIOUSLY, SHUT UP ALREADY!
Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe I will make the right choice. Maybe I will find the motivation that has been eluding me for many months. I killed my enjoyment of running by signing up for too many races and not actually training for them, thus spending the race time beating myself up mentally. Not cool. No one else is going to cheer me on if I don't do it first, and yet, I spent the entire Jingle Bell run telling myself that I was fat, lazy, and a disgrace. Nice, huh?
But today was different. I threw together a new playlist, just for kicks. I hadn't ran for awhile, so I knew it was going to be slow-going. I knew I would probably walk more than I ran, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that my blue and green accented Asics were pounding the pavement once more. I didn't have any moments of negativity. I had a good time, even while my legs were being awoken from their slumber and were fighting back. I did it.
I did it.
Yes.
And I will do it again. Soon.
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