September 21st, 2009 was the day I quit soda. It was the day I decided to go "cold turkey" on a lot of crap and start watching my weight. I remember that I had a pretty bad cold that week, which helped suppress my appetite, but I didn't start exercising until the following week or so. I joined Planet Fitness after about 2 weeks...
Like most people, I tend to focus on my failures and neglect to celebrate my successes. Yes, I have gained about 25 lbs or so since January. Am I proud of that? Not in the least...BUT I am going to take a look at what I am proud of...
Since Sept 21, 2009, I have.....
-logged 320 miles on my Nike+, having started running in April 2010. I'm sure I've run more than that if you include stuff done without the Nike+, but that's pretty cool.
-run the Superhero 5K, Gobble Gobble Gobble 4miler, Hyannis 10K, James Joyce Ramble 10K, Milton 5K and will be running the Tufts 10K in a few short weeks.
-lost 80 lbs by Jan 1, 2011, but have managed to keep off 60-65 lbs total.
-gone down 4 sizes.
-found a love of running, swimming, dancing, exercising that I didn't think would ever exist.
-found self-esteem that I didn't think existed either.
-blogged a lot.
-managed to share my story with a lot of people, and became an inspiration for others to take their lives into their own hands!
I am proud of what I have accomplished. I know that I will never be finished with this journey. It has its ups and downs. I'm hoping for more ups in the coming months...
Thank you for reading, for listening, for caring and for being so supportive as I try to change my life. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
RECOMMITMENT!!!! :-)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
The Big Day
385 days until THE day.
October 7, 2012 is THE day.
You do realize that this means I have a little over a year to get myself into Ultimate Sexy Bride shape. Yeah, yeah, I know, I don't want to be one of those psycho brides that is miserable for a year leading up to the day (or crash dieting for the last month because the dress doesn't fit...). And as most of you know, this is just another step in my journey.
This week, Sept 21st, marks 2 years since I started my journey to a healthier me. 2 years since I've had soda. Can you BELIEVE that?! I loved soda. I probably still do...or would...if I drank it. But I can't. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I can't allow myself to have it. It is my Achilles heel, my Kryptonite. I don't want it. I'm just saying, I can't/won't have it.
And I know that this year has been like a broken record....me stating my recommitment to healthy eating/exercising. But this is the perfect time to stop all of the shenanigans and start the hardcore work. Healthy habits take time to develop. I know that. We ALL know that. But do we have the discipline to develop them? Sure we do. I DID at one time. I don't know why my mind can't get back on the wagon. My body wants to...it's my mind that I'm having trouble with. The little food devil on my shoulder, whispering..."Ahhh, it's okay, go ahead, have that cookie. It's fine. It's JUST a cookie. It's not gonna kill ya. Besides, you worked hard for a long time. You DESERVE that cookie."
Hey. Food Devil. Shut up. YOU deserve a punch in your smug little face.
The Tufts 10K is in 22 days. I have been pretty lazy about training for this race. (This seems to be a trend with me...sign up for a big race, then NOT train, and then suffer through it, but be happy that I made it and didn't die.) I have finished 2 10Ks, so I know it's possible. And i imagine that on that day, I'll be energized by the crowd...the thousands of women running around me. It was so moving to watch GI Jane finish that race last year. I remember getting choked up as she came towards the finish line, as her boyfriend and I yelled her name and she found us in the crowd, and as she completed her longest race to date. I wanted that to be me. I need to remember those feelings and use them to help motivate me to eat better and to put the time in to making sure my body is ready for 6.1 miles.
Yes, I'm busier now...sweeney rehearsals have started, tap class is on Thurs nights. Blahblahblah. I am full of excuses. Always have been, always will be. Sure, we just booked our wedding venue, need to get on the planning wagon. Yes, still interested in finding a new job...need to actually apply to jobs if I expect to get one. Wow, they just keep piling up, don't they?
Okay. GI Jane suggested that I use Sept 21st as my "recommitment" day. It's an anniversary, use it to start up again. That's 3 days from now. I should probably use Monday and Tuesday as days to ease myself into it...start by ditching the crap at work. Reminding myself that besides the inevitable wedding at the end of the road, there is a lifetime of health and happiness that I want to have. I still want to be pushing myself athletically. I want to have toned arms...maybe even some "guns" someday. ;-) I want these things...and yet, I allow my Food Devil to keep me from achieving these goals.
Food Devil needs to die.
My (somewhat) competitive spirit needs to take over.
I'm not going down without a fight.
The numbers on the scale will move. The numbers in my clothes will move. My body will change. Again.
I WILL win.
October 7, 2012 is THE day.
You do realize that this means I have a little over a year to get myself into Ultimate Sexy Bride shape. Yeah, yeah, I know, I don't want to be one of those psycho brides that is miserable for a year leading up to the day (or crash dieting for the last month because the dress doesn't fit...). And as most of you know, this is just another step in my journey.
This week, Sept 21st, marks 2 years since I started my journey to a healthier me. 2 years since I've had soda. Can you BELIEVE that?! I loved soda. I probably still do...or would...if I drank it. But I can't. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I can't allow myself to have it. It is my Achilles heel, my Kryptonite. I don't want it. I'm just saying, I can't/won't have it.
And I know that this year has been like a broken record....me stating my recommitment to healthy eating/exercising. But this is the perfect time to stop all of the shenanigans and start the hardcore work. Healthy habits take time to develop. I know that. We ALL know that. But do we have the discipline to develop them? Sure we do. I DID at one time. I don't know why my mind can't get back on the wagon. My body wants to...it's my mind that I'm having trouble with. The little food devil on my shoulder, whispering..."Ahhh, it's okay, go ahead, have that cookie. It's fine. It's JUST a cookie. It's not gonna kill ya. Besides, you worked hard for a long time. You DESERVE that cookie."
Hey. Food Devil. Shut up. YOU deserve a punch in your smug little face.
The Tufts 10K is in 22 days. I have been pretty lazy about training for this race. (This seems to be a trend with me...sign up for a big race, then NOT train, and then suffer through it, but be happy that I made it and didn't die.) I have finished 2 10Ks, so I know it's possible. And i imagine that on that day, I'll be energized by the crowd...the thousands of women running around me. It was so moving to watch GI Jane finish that race last year. I remember getting choked up as she came towards the finish line, as her boyfriend and I yelled her name and she found us in the crowd, and as she completed her longest race to date. I wanted that to be me. I need to remember those feelings and use them to help motivate me to eat better and to put the time in to making sure my body is ready for 6.1 miles.
Yes, I'm busier now...sweeney rehearsals have started, tap class is on Thurs nights. Blahblahblah. I am full of excuses. Always have been, always will be. Sure, we just booked our wedding venue, need to get on the planning wagon. Yes, still interested in finding a new job...need to actually apply to jobs if I expect to get one. Wow, they just keep piling up, don't they?
Okay. GI Jane suggested that I use Sept 21st as my "recommitment" day. It's an anniversary, use it to start up again. That's 3 days from now. I should probably use Monday and Tuesday as days to ease myself into it...start by ditching the crap at work. Reminding myself that besides the inevitable wedding at the end of the road, there is a lifetime of health and happiness that I want to have. I still want to be pushing myself athletically. I want to have toned arms...maybe even some "guns" someday. ;-) I want these things...and yet, I allow my Food Devil to keep me from achieving these goals.
Food Devil needs to die.
My (somewhat) competitive spirit needs to take over.
I'm not going down without a fight.
The numbers on the scale will move. The numbers in my clothes will move. My body will change. Again.
I WILL win.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
The Process
So, I finally had my Sweeney Todd audition, got called back for 2 roles, Mrs Lovett and the Beggar Woman. I have been offered the role of the Beggar Woman and I accepted it. Am I disappointed? Yes. I really wanted to play Mrs Lovett. It's definitely a dream role for me. Was I in the running? Certainly. I understand that for whatever reason, I wasn't cast, and that's okay. I know that doesn't mean that I'm not a good singer or actress. I am competent. I am also trying not to be a sore loser about it. I fully intend on giving a kickass performance, but how do you get over stuff like this?
Singers/Actors, you know what I'm talking about...you sign up for an audition and you prepare for it, you think about it, you put yourself in the role and then maybe you're given something else, or worse yet, not cast at all. I've had this audition on my calendar for at least 3 months. I wanted this role. I wanted it so badly. But, I said it immediately following the callbacks...I can't be mad about what happens. I went in there and did what I set out to do. I felt great about what I did. I enjoyed the process. I took the opportunity to sing Mrs Lovett's music, as I might not get the chance. And I was happy. There are a lot of things that could've made them decide one way or the other. And that's okay. (I have to keep telling myself that...)
I am grateful to actually be in a production of Sweeney though. It's rarely done because it is such an undertaking. Even though I was disappointed, I couldn't imagine turning it down. I just want to sing. I want to perform. I want to grow as a musician and an actress, and even though it's a small role, it's vital, and downright crazy. I'll have a lot to play with and show off in a little bit of a time. I am excited to meet some new people, get to work with a new group and just get back into the creative process.
Hopefully this won't derail my exercise/healthy track again. I have to be much more mindful of it now, especially with the Tufts 10K right around the corner. I'm going to be super busy this fall with rehearsals, tap class on Thurs, and training and stuff. Whoa. Ah well. I love it and that's why I do it.
**SPOILER ALERT: If you don't know the story of Sweeney, STOP reading right now....**
It's funny that I'm the "beautiful" wife of Sweeney that everyone is hot for...I get to be sexy...under all of the haggy rags I'll be wearing...yeeeeeeeeah. Looking forward to having my throat slit on stage too...and hopefully I"ll get to ride in a trapdoor chair!
Singers/Actors, you know what I'm talking about...you sign up for an audition and you prepare for it, you think about it, you put yourself in the role and then maybe you're given something else, or worse yet, not cast at all. I've had this audition on my calendar for at least 3 months. I wanted this role. I wanted it so badly. But, I said it immediately following the callbacks...I can't be mad about what happens. I went in there and did what I set out to do. I felt great about what I did. I enjoyed the process. I took the opportunity to sing Mrs Lovett's music, as I might not get the chance. And I was happy. There are a lot of things that could've made them decide one way or the other. And that's okay. (I have to keep telling myself that...)
I am grateful to actually be in a production of Sweeney though. It's rarely done because it is such an undertaking. Even though I was disappointed, I couldn't imagine turning it down. I just want to sing. I want to perform. I want to grow as a musician and an actress, and even though it's a small role, it's vital, and downright crazy. I'll have a lot to play with and show off in a little bit of a time. I am excited to meet some new people, get to work with a new group and just get back into the creative process.
Hopefully this won't derail my exercise/healthy track again. I have to be much more mindful of it now, especially with the Tufts 10K right around the corner. I'm going to be super busy this fall with rehearsals, tap class on Thurs, and training and stuff. Whoa. Ah well. I love it and that's why I do it.
**SPOILER ALERT: If you don't know the story of Sweeney, STOP reading right now....**
It's funny that I'm the "beautiful" wife of Sweeney that everyone is hot for...I get to be sexy...under all of the haggy rags I'll be wearing...yeeeeeeeeah. Looking forward to having my throat slit on stage too...and hopefully I"ll get to ride in a trapdoor chair!
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