Struggles

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” - Frederick Douglass

“Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle!” -Swami Sivananda

“Whatever the struggle, continue the climb. It may be only one step
to the summit.” -Diane Westlake




What are your struggles? When do you struggle the most? Life is one giant struggle. If your life is running so smoothly that you never have to worry about anything, I congratulate you. For most of us, our days are filled with decisions that may ultimately affect our well-being. Big decisions like "Should I go to work today?"...small decisions like "Should I eat that bagel?". We are confronted with many choices along the way. Life is one big Choose Your Own Adventure Novel.

I decided to open today's entry with some wise sounding quotes. Finding inspiration is important, and I feel like these quotes will help. Losing weight and committing to a healthy lifestyle are difficult endeavors. Struggling is a natural part of that daily commitment. People commend me on my progress, but don't realize that every minute of every day is filled with thoughts of success versus failure. I know I shouldn't have that latte, but it looks so good. I know I shouldn't waste my time on that bread, but damn it, I want it! Eater's remorse inevitably follows, leaving me to figure out how I will "right the ship" next time around. I know I'm not the only one who has these problems. But we all need to figure out how to combat the temptation, slay our demons, and to stop letting food run our lives. You are stronger than that candy bar. The world won't end if you don't eat that bag of trail mix. The junk will still be there tomorrow. (Unfortunately for us, I don't see the processed wasteland that our grocery stores have become getting rid of any of that stuff anytime soon.)

I do my best to stay away from certain things, because I know I have little or no power over them. Soda, for instance, is probably my biggest weakness. I have not had soda since September 21st, 2009. I may or may not still like the syrupy sweetness, as my tastes have changed quite a bit. BUT, I am fearful of even baiting the sugar dragon that lives inside of me. I'm afraid that even if I have one sip, that will lead to one glass, to one bottle, to months of hard work down the drain. I choose not to touch it. Almost as an alcoholic stays away from liquor, but I understand that the parallels I am drawing are certainly pretty shaky. Soda will not ruin lives...although, if you believe the doctors, it will. I am quite certain that soda is one of the reasons why I was/am obese/overweight. I definitely drank more soda than water in my 31 years on this earth. But I knew if I was going to succeed, I needed to flush it out of my life. Seltzer with lime, or a flavored Polar seltzer, fills the void quite nicely. I get the fizzy excitement, without the sugar/caffeine overload. But I wonder, am I still powerless over it's sweet intoxication? I am afraid that at this point, I won't be finding out any time soon. I will continue to avoid the beast. I may look it in the eye, but then I remember how strong I am now, and how I can live another day without it. I've made it this long, what's another day?

Maybe for you, it's trail mix. Or cookies. Or Red Bulls. Or even cigarettes. You know it's bad for you, but you just can't stop yourself. I went cold turkey. And it worked. I drank nothing but water for 6-8 weeks, trying to make myself forget the taste. To reintroduce water to my body and hydrate it properly. Your body needs water to function properly. Give your body what it needs. It'll thank you for it.

For some of us, it doesn't necessarily lie within a single item, your struggle is a time struggle. You find an insatiable need to devour everything in sight between the hours of 4 and 6pm. Or maybe you're a late night binger. You've had dinner, but as you mindlessly zone out in front of the tv, your hand needs something to do, and boy, does that bag of Doritos look inviting! Before you know it, you've eaten the whole bag and your hands are stained an unnatural shade of orange. You feel sick. You feel guilty. But does that stop you? I don't know. Will it? Remember how you feel. Remember what happens AFTER you eat that crap. How does your body react? Maybe the sensations you get will remind you to treat yourself better next time.

Maybe your struggle is one within your own mind. Perhaps you compulsively weigh yourself, 2-3 times a day (or more), and you "reward" yourself when the numbers make you happy, and "punish" yourself when they don't. Maybe you won't eat for a day or two to make up for it. Or maybe you'll try something a little more hurtful, like throwing up. Eating disorders are no joke. I am lucky that I never developed one. I know a few people who aren't that lucky. If this is you, please, find someone to talk to, a professional. Get the help you need, and deserve. No one needs to live that way. The fear of death should be stronger than the fear of gaining a few pounds. But again, I am not a doctor, nor am I a licensed therapist. I do not understand the deep workings of the mind in this capacity. I can only hope that if you've made that first step to admit (even just to yourself) that you have a problem, that you will reach out for help. You are worth it.

Struggles come in all shapes and sizes, just like us. I'd be willing to bet that if you mentioned YOUR struggle to someone close to you, you'd find that they have a similar one, or they could perhaps shed some light on how to combat that struggle. Don't go at it alone. Shutting yourself down and trying to deal with EVERYTHING on your own won't help the situation. Talking it out helps. Do it, talk it out, and then tell me how you feel. You may feel like no one wants to listen to your problems, or you don't want to seem like you're complaining. You're not. You're expressing yourself, you're venting, you're releasing tension and hopefully cultivating deeper, more meaningful relationships in the process. Not all of us can afford to see professionals, but many of us are pretty good listeners.

Lend an ear, you never know when you might need one in return.