Where everybody knows your name...

And no one recognizes your face/body. Hilarity ensues when you go to a family wedding, you walk around, saying hi to people and they say hello, all the formalities…and then you see them a few minutes later, pointing at you from across the room, talking to someone else going "Who is that?". Honest to God, friends. No one knew who I was at my cousin's wedding. My sisters had reported to me that multiple people came up to them going, "Oh, where is Kelly? I thought she'd be here." And they're like "Ummm, you just talked to her. She's right there." Now granted, some of these people I haven't seen in a few years, but still…you'd think it was me if I'm standing with my 2 sisters and my dad. Right? RIGHT?! Hahaha. I found it very amusing. And of course, the old…"Wow! Kelly, I just keep remembering you as 'this high'…". So, let's just say, my "coming out" party in PA was a big success. And, for once, I might actually be the smallest sister. Not QUITE sure…if not, Theresa and I are actually the same size. Wheeeee!

Hi readers! I'm baaaaaack. Sorry for the absence. I've been thinking of you all though. I wrote that above portion on 8/22, saved it into a text document to upload later...and well...later never came. :-) So, there ya go.

This week has made for an awfully soggy Beantown. I do enjoy a good rainy day, but it definitely sucked all of the energy out of me and all i wanted to do was to curl up in the Snuggie and lay on the couch. I managed to drag my ass to the gym on Monday, all full of vim and verve on the "1st day back" to life and whatnot. Then by Tuesday, I was a big pile of mush. I didn't want to do anything. I'm still in a semi-dangerous vacation eating place in my mind. I've just been kind of doing what I want. Not necessarily going nutso or anything, just not being nearly as vigilant as I feel I need to be at this point. I gained about 6 lbs this past month while I was away. I do feel that considering how things were, that's a bit of a victory, although, I'm also a bit disappointed in myself. I took strides to work out, but I suppose I didn't take enough strides to just say no to ice cream and other such yummies.

Good news is that my tastes haven't reverted to liking crappy food. And by crappy, I'm referring to quality, or lack thereof, in this case. For example, on Sunday, my lovely friend, GI Jane, picked me up at the airport and on the way home, we were chatting about grabbing some food, unfortunately time constraints kept this date from happening. I got home, scoured the empty pantry and then decided to go out and find something. Well, I couldn't walk the one block to Ball Square for a mildly healthy, at least yummy, salad. Nor could I walk up the to Magoun Square for a slice of pizza or some nice steamed chinese food. Noooooo. My laziness took me to the 7-11 across the street. I got a crappy sandwich and a bag of sunchips. And they were both gross and reminded me why I don't eat like that anymore. Maybe I just need the reminder sometimes, like with Starbucks pastries. I just need a little bite to remind myself that they are not good and certainly not worth the energy expended to eat them, nor the energy needed to work them off. If I want a pastry, I will get my ass to Lyndell's or another reputable bakery.

That being said, I'm finding it difficult to get back into the swing of things, lifestyle-wise. I'm finding it very hard to eat vegetables right now. I don't want to buy them. I don't want to prepare them. I certainly don't want to eat them. Am I bored? Am I so used to eating the same things that my mind is rebelling against me? I am though, still enamored with fruit. I could eat fruit all day long if it were readily available to me. Last night, at our Wednesday night Catharsis Group, GI Jane cooked up an amazing stir-fry and some homemade wonton soup to die for. Seriously, people. It was amazing. And we remarked that it was dinners like this that make us want to cook and make us want to eat well. And as quickly as the cool days were upon us, they're moving out again...leaving us with hot days, and hotter kitchens. UGH. I don't know about you, but I hate being sweaty while cooking. And I usually don't want to eat hot food when it's boiling hot outside. I suppose the remedy to this problem is simple...either suck it up. Or become more creative with my non-cooking food. People sustain themselves on raw diets everyday. Maybe I can too. Hahaha. I doubt it.

And another somewhat ironic turn of events this week, was the death of my Nike+ sensor. I went to the gym on Monday, hopped on the treadmill, ready to try and run. (I have an aversion to the treadmill that I need to get over come wintertime...) I push the button and nothing happens. And it just keeps saying "no sensor". UGH!!!! So I did an interval workout instead, then did some other stuff on the mat, weights, blahblah. But I got home, read about it, and many sensors never make it to the 3 years they say it will last. Now I just need to get a new one. But until that time, I should take advantage and do some untethered running. They can take our Nike+ sensors! But they can't take our freeeeedooooom!!!!! And then of course, I'm all "Well, if I don't have the sensor, then it won't load on Facebook". Write a goddamn status update saying that you went running, jerk. I like to find excuses, apparently. I've said it before, and I like the accountability factor involved with this Nike+ business. But all i need to do is write it on there. Once it's on FB, it's official.

It's 4pm on a Thursday afternoon, I'm waiting to find out if I'm ghosting tonight or not. To be honest, I hope not. Yes, it's my first night back, and I should be excited, but I'm not. This season, it became a job to me, where it never felt like that before. That just solidifies my thoughts that it's time for Minerva to find greener graveyards. But if I'm not ghosting, then I could go for a run, or do something on Exercise TV and not feel like a giant mushball.

On the job front, I have actually started looking for jobs. I haven't sent out any resumes yet, but when I find one that I like/qualify for, I will. I definitely need a change. I have become complacent in much of my life and I don't like it. I don't like where I've ended up. In November, it'll be my 7 year anniversary with the Bux. NOT where I wanted to be. Certainly didn't think that I'd still be here 7 years later. I do like my coworkers, but that's not enough anymore. I need something to stimulate my brain. I need something to make me feel good about myself again. I need to feel like I'm contributing to something, ANYTHING, except for the growing waistlines of the American public. I want to sing, but can't find the motivation to do so. I need to get new headshots before I audition for anything because I don't look like my pic AT ALL. I've seen some upcoming productions that I'd like to audition for, so hopefully that'll be a kick in the pants. I need to get back with my voice teacher and my coach and really lay down some goals and get myself back in the game. I've been away for too long. I've been using the losing weight/exercise thing as an excuse. It's like I can't focus on more than one giant project at a time. I knew that by losing weight, I'd help my chances of getting roles and being accepted in the opera world. I just used that as a reason not to practice "right now" and not to audition "right now" and not to do anything. I didn't give it up, but I put it on the burner the farthest back there. I need to jumpstart everything. I need to fix my life.