Out of the box

Hello readers! Sorry it's been awhile, but my computer died last week during what was to be high blogging time. Arrgggh. Good news, we are now in possession of a beautiful new Macbook. Ahhhhh. It's lovely.

I've been thinking about the challenges that we all face in our normal, everyday lives to make the best choices possible for ourselves. But then, I began thinking about what happens when you are out of your comfort zone...out of your box, so to speak. I leave tomorrow morning for my annual August pilgrimage to Western PA to teach at a high school marching band camp. I am very excited to see my friends, to see the kids, and to just have some nice R&R from my norm. I am a little anxious about finding/keeping the motivation to exercise and eat well when I'm in a different place. Now, yes, in Key West, I did extremely well, but also allowed myself to enjoy my vacation. This situation is a BIT different. I am not officially on vacation. I will actually be working, singing a concert and doing 2 weeks of camp. Although, as I won't be in my normal routine, it's a bit of a vacation. Sure, I'll have a lot of time to breathe in the fabulous country air and to do whatever I'd like. I just need to make sure that my priorities are straight. I say this because in years past, this was a time of indulgence and just loafing around. How many ice cream stands can we hit this week? Fried vegetables? SURE! These little roadside stands are not exactly known for their healthy choices. I am lucky to hear that my friends have also started focusing a little more on their food choices, probably making things a little easier for me. We'll go grocery shopping, and I just need to remember that I'm still on a mission. I certainly don't want to gain weight while I'm away...which I don't think will happen. I want to try different things. I'm excited to go running on a gravel and dirt country road. (Hopefully I won't get hit by a car....or a bear...) There's apparently a "bitch-ass" hill out the back of their house that is a good source of exercise as well. I know that I'll be much more energetic and interested in exercising....I know how I feel when I do it, and I know how I feel when I don't. I'm much better when I do. Weird. Never thought I'd say that.

I do find that my mood improves when I get some exercise. Last night, I went to my Glee dance class, which unfortunately ends for the summer while I'm away. Boooooo. It ended up being a private lesson, as no one else showed up. It was awesome! He taught me a routine to Ike and Tina's "Proud Mary". VERY high energy and lots of movement. I was sweating up a storm. And I was very tired when I went in there, but felt amazing afterwards. I definitely love dancing, always have. I need to find more classes that I'm interested in because I feel this is a good place to spend my money. Going to the gym and running are all well and good, but a little variety is always good. I do yoga at home and don't know how I'd like doing it in an earthy-crunchy studio. I feel like I'm a way better dancer than I am yogi. I feel confident taking those mad skillz into a studio. ;-) Dancing is freeing...and if you allow yourself to have fun and forget yourself, it's amazing.

I watched this documentary the other night called "Every Little Step", about the audition process for the revival of A Chorus Line in 2006. It was so great, and definitely made me miss dancing. I wish I had stuck with it. I wish I hadn't felt I was too fat to dance. I probably wouldn't have continued down that path had I remained enrolled in dance class. I went from some exercise to no exercise in no time flat. I don't have many regrets in life...but giving up on dancing is definitely one of them. I basically quit on myself. I didn't think i was good enough, pretty enough, etc. So i just quit. I focused on music instead. I excelled at music, but it wasn't much of a workout, except during marching band season.

Throughout this journey, it's very hard not to look to the past to place blame or search for answers. I'm trying to avoid starting every scenario with "I wish I'd..." or "If only I had....". Life is not going to move forward for me if I continue to dredge up unhappy feelings in the past. I suppose all we can do is use our regrets to make better choices as life goes on. Learn from your mistakes, don't let your dreams go unfulfilled. Try to make yourself happy. It's not selfish. You deserve the best. And whatever makes you happy, you should try to engage in those activities. It's hard when stuff like work gets in the way...but if we can try to do something for ourselves everyday, you'll probably find the quality of your life will improve immensely. Go ahead, give it a try, what do you have to lose?