Tears of joy

I pinned on my race bib. #115. I attached my race tag, and laced up my shoes. I painted on my nose, put on my cape, and I flew.

This morning I officially became something I'd NEVER thought I could be....a racer! I raced! I got in line with everyone else, and I ran my ass off. I definitely ran my fastest mile ever, 10:35 for the first mile, and ended up with a very respectable 11 min mile pace. My original goal for the 5K was to come in under 35 minutes....official time....34:06! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!! (Now, i will say that my Nike+ had some different numbers than the official race thing, so I'm confused about that. Longer distance, faster pace, etc. Maybe it was excited too...)

It was such a neat atmosphere, standing at the starting line with all of these costumed runners. Everyone running...many first timers, like myself. We ran up Mass Ave towards Harvard Square and we were just about at the Starbucks when the leader of the pack was actually passing us on his way back. Are you serious?! His final time was like 18 minutes or something like that. Holy shit. It's amazing what the human body can do. As we ran, GI Jane and Dayjobs were talking about how your body gets used to the strain you put on it and it responds by helping you. Dayjobs completed a Half-Ironman in the last few months. She's a freak of nature, but in the best possible way. The girl just wakes up and decides to hit a race, which she definitely did with a half marathon in downtown Boston one time, as I remember. Natural athlete indeed. I don't know if I'm a natural athlete that is trapped in the wrong body? Probably not. But, I do believe that I have the heart. And sometimes, that's more important.

Sure, I'll never win a foot race, but that's not what it's about. One of the great things about running is that you aren't necessarily racing against everyone else...you're racing against yourself. You race to improve your time, your stamina, whatever your goal may be. Maybe you're running races to collect the Tshirts. Nothing wrong with that, everyone needs new clothes. :-)

I came home from a wonderful post-race lunch and immediately signed up for my next race...the Gobble Gobble Gobble run on Thanksgiving morning. It's a 4 miler. I've recently started running for 3 on my "normal" runs and have pushed it to 4 on certain days. The next few weeks will be the perfect time to increase my mileage and get ready for this next challenge.

Even as I write those words, I still am a bit dumbfounded by it all. Me? A runner?

It was such a wonderful experience. I ran the whole race with GI Jane and Dayjobs (a surprise guest!). Dayjobs could have easily zipped ahead and beat us by a longshot, but she chose to run with us the entire way. It was really great to have 2 of my friends there to share in this momentous occasion. I was feeling good the whole time. and then as we were getting closer to the end, we heard a girl right behind us say, "Oh my god, I am going to do this! This is my first 5K!!!" And I yelled, and we all yelled and whooped it up. We rounded the corner, I spied the park where we began, and felt the tears welling up...seeing all the other superheroes chugging water and eating free snacks..and then that girl started sprinting around me....and something happened I took off. Hahaha. I sprinted towards the finish, towards a new me. And I looked up, saw Andrew standing at the finish line with my camera, snapping the photos I requested. I couldn't bring myself to smile because I had begun to cry. I was so overwhelmed by the moment. To the outsider, they were probably wondering what was going on with Mighty Mouse, was she hurt? What's going on? But I was caught up in the enormity of this day. This day that I never expected to happen. This day that puts me in a new category: racer. This day that gives me the fulfillment of accomplishing a goal that I had set for myself way back in April. I didn't sob. (I certainly COULD have...but I collected myself.)

This journey leaves me standing here, looking back at my progress, and feeling extremely proud. BUT, today really cemented that fact for me. I am allowed to be proud. I am not being vain. I am just marveling at what I have done. And as I close in on 100 lbs lost, that pride can only increase. Having gotten back in the food journaling game via Livestrong.com, I managed to lose some more this week, now officially down 86 lbs. I had been hovering around 80 lbs lost for awhile, had dipped to 85, then it was bouncing between 80 and 85 lbs lost for the last 2 weeks. I think we've passed that threshold. We'll see. But at this moment, I'm not super concerned with the scale. My accomplishments are bigger than any number on a scale right now. This success I had today is certainly a wonderful motivational tool. It just makes me want to keep going, better, stronger, longer.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me on my journey thus far. Everyone one of you took those steps with me and everyone of you crossed that finish line with me today. You made it possible for me to believe in myself. Your unwavering love and support is too much to fully grasp. I am humbled by your encouragement. All I can do is continue to make you proud, continue to fight the good fight, and continue to love myself as you guys love me.